Motherless in Niagara

I assume other motherless people have asked themselves: How do I celebrate Mother's Day when my mother is deceased? Since my mother's death in 1988--on my 30th birthday--Mother's Day has actually been 'My Children's Mother's Day' and 'Mother-in-law's Day.' Of course I have enjoyed honoring the mother of my children, as well as my mother-in-law. My wife is a wonderful mother who was taught by one of the best. However, I have missed being able to celebrate my mother on Mother's Day. Many years ago, if your mother was deceased, on Mother's Day you would wear to church a white corsage on your lapel or a red or pink corsage if your mother was still living. That tradition has seemingly gone away with black and white televisions and 8-track tape players.

Today I have a much greater appreciation for my mother. Each year her wisdom becomes more and more apparent; she is probably one of the wisest individuals I have known. Therefore as the years have passed I have felt a greater need to celebrate my mother on Mother's Day. This weekend my wife and I went to Niagara Falls after attending a conference in Toronto. Since my wife and I were alone on Mother's Day the day felt less like 'My Children's Mother's Day' or 'Mother-in-law Day.' For the first time in 21 years I felt like I celebrated my mother on Mother's Day. Just in case you are wondering; no, I did not buy a Mother's Day card for my deceased mother. Given the variety of cards now available, I'm surprised that card companies haven't thought of 'Mother's Day' cards for us motherless people. I guess that would be a card that none of us would be too anxious to hand deliver.

Niagara Falls has special memories for me. My wife and I spent time this weekend remembering our family vacation in Niagara Falls; which was nearly eighteen years ago. Niagara Falls is also where my mother and father spent their honeymoon. Looking at the same magnificent waterfalls and floral clock that they posed at in their honeymoon pictures was like stepping back into time. Being in Niagara Falls also brought back fond memories of the vacations I took with my parents as a child in Niagara Falls. The highlight of this Mother's Day was finding the Michael's Inn, which is the hotel my family stayed at more than forty years ago. It is as if the city has left standing a monument honoring my mother by not demolishing the old inn to erect another posh high-rise hotel. Maybe one day I can return to Niagara Falls for Father's Day and honor my deceased dad. However, I must confess that I am writing this blog from the 18th floor of one of those posh high-rise hotels overlooking the Horseshoe Falls. I'm nostalgic, but I'm not nostalgic enough to stay at the Michael's Inn; it's actually too far from the falls and it looks exactly like it did forty years ago.

How did you celebrate this Mother's Day? Was it just another day? For those who have recently lost their mother, Mother's Day can be a very unhappy day. Remember, you are not alone; there are other people like us who have to celebrate a motherless day on Mother's Day. If your mother is deceased, have you found a way of honoring her in a special way on Mother's Day? Even if she's not deceased but you have found a unique way to honor your mother, share it with us.

Jesus demonstrated for us the importance of honoring our mothers. While dying on the cross for the sins of the entire world, he took time to acknowledge and honor his mother.

When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, "Dear woman, here is your son." And he said to this disciple, "Here is your mother." And from then on this disciple took her into his home."[1]

[1] John 19:26-27 (NLT)