Memorial Day Cold Cases

There’s a television series called Cold Case, which is a drama revolving around a police division that specializes in investigating cold cases--crimes or accidents that have not been solved. In most episodes, it is many years after a death that the detectives of the homicide division of the police department are prompted to reinvestigate the old case gone cold following, a revelation of new evidence, discovery of the victim's physical remains, or a witness who has decided to come forward. The detectives then give the cold case a new look and begin researching the victim and interviewing their friends, acquaintances, and family. In spite of the fact that Cold Case is not one of my favorite programs, I am always moved by the thought that after a case has been sitting cold for many years in a storeroom and most people have long forgotten about the deceased person that someone cares enough to open their file. Usually at the end of each episode, having solved the case in less than one hour, the detectives mark the case as "closed," putting the evidence box back on the shelf.

Memorial Day is a bit like reopening the evidence boxes of both veterans and nonveterans that have been stored away in our nation’s cemeteries. This Memorial Day my wife, her mother, and myself made plans to visit the gravesites of my wife’s grandparents, her father, my grandparents, and my parents. Our trip involved visiting four different cemeteries. We began at the National Cemetery in Catonsville, from there we traveled to Woodlawn, then to Randallstown, and we finally ended up in Laurel. The stories shared at my wife’s grandparents’ graves in the National Cemetery were familiar. However, in spite of being married for 30 years and having passed the cemetery thousands of time, my wife and I never knew that this was where her grandparents were buried, and I never knew that her grandfather was a veteran of WWI.

As mentioned earlier, our final stop was my father-in-law's grave in Laurel, Maryland. This year actually marks the 20th anniversary of his death. Interestingly, my wife’s stepfather is also buried in the same cemetery and in the same section, however this was actually unplanned. My wife's stepfather is buried next to his first wife and her mom has a plot next to her first husband. By the time we arrived it was raining too hard so we remained in the car for more than an hour waiting for the rain to subside. (Since we were in the 4WD SUV, you know what I was tempted to do.) Once the rain slowed up I left the car with half an umbrella and a gravesite map in search of the gravesites. Unfortunately, the map was rather useless and I spent another hour walking through foot-deep puddles looking for my father-in-law and step-father-in-law’s grave. I was determined not to leave without finding at least one of the graves; although I thought several times about giving up and just putting the fake flowers on some stranger’s grave. However, what kept me persevering was my belief that my father-in-law’s life meant more than the inconvenience of rain and hours of searching. It amazes me the amount of money family members spend on elaborate funerals and expensive granite gravestones, yet rarely visit their loved one's resting place. My parents never started a Memorial Day celebration without first visiting my grandparents’ graves.

After the rain stopped and my pants were soaked to my knees, I finally found my father-in-law’s grave. And I am glad to have spent the entire holiday visiting graves and reopening the files of our relatives. Nevertheless, as I walked from grave to grave reading the headstones, I sensed the thousands of stories filed away in those graves. Many of the files, if not most, will one day be forgotten; they will be cold files. No one will visit, no one will search for the grave, no one will remember them. However, for those of us who are believers, we can take comfort in knowing that even when our descendents have forgotten us and have stopped searching for our graves and our stories have gone cold, we won’t be forgotten forever. Jesus Christ has a map with each of our names or graves clearly marked. And unlike me, He won’t have any trouble finding us. The Bible says,

We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the Christians who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. So encourage each other with these words. [1]

[1] 1 Thessalonians 4:15-18 (NLT)

Charlie’s Angel

This past Friday, the documentary, “Farrah's Story,” was aired in America. The film was NBC's most-watched program in its Friday night time slot in more than a year. "Farrah's Story" details the former Charlie's Angels star's treatment and hopes for recovery, following her through chemotherapy and other grueling treatment. Fawcett, 62, was diagnosed in 2006 with anal cancer that has sadly spread to her liver.

Farrah Fawcett and Charlie’s Angels are American pop culture icons. Farrah’s hairstyle was once sported by millions of young women, and she was a sex symbol for millions of men in the 1970s and 1980s. In a 1977 interview with TV Guide, Farrah said: "When the show was number three, I thought it was our acting. When we got to be number one, I decided it could only be because none of us wears a bra". For those too young to remember Farrah Fawcett and the original television version of Charlie’s Angel, the series inspired two feature films: Charlie's Angels (2000) and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003), which has sparked a whole new generation Charlie’s Angels fans.

Regarding the documentary, Kate Jackson, former Charlie’s Angels co-star, stated that Fawcett "didn't do this to show that she is unique, she did it to show that we are all unique... (T)his was...meant to be a gift to others to help and inspire them.” Although probably more heart-wrenching than inspiring, I believe the documentary, “Farrah’s Story,” shows the commonality of the human experience rather than the uniqueness of all. Fame and fortune, beauty and youth, do not insulate us from the painful side of life. As Job in the Bible states: “How frail is humanity! How short is life, how full of trouble! We blossom like a flower and then wither. Like a passing shadow, we quickly disappear.”[1]

Farrah Fawcett has not only been battling with cancer for 2-1/2 years, but her son Redmond, by actor Ryan O'Neal, has struggled with addiction. In April 2009, on probation for a DUI, he was arrested for possession of narcotics while Farrah was in the hospital. Oh, how familiar a story. Think of all the millions of less known mothers and fathers who have a chapter like this in their undocumented life story.

I too can identify with Farrah’s story. In 1981, my father lost his battle to colon cancer after it had spread to his liver. Twenty years ago I too had a colon cancer scare; which is why today I am a vegetarian. My mother-in-law is a survivor of colon cancer, but unfortunately my father-in-law lost his fight against colon cancer. Cancer is like a reoccurring nightmare in my family. I can recall the weekly radiation treatments and radiation implants that my mother had to endure before losing her battle to cervical cancer. Farrah says, "I do not want to die of this disease. So I say to God, `It is seriously time for a miracle.’" Whether we die of this disease or that disease, or simply fall asleep and not wake up, we all will die. Death is an inevitable part of our human experience.

Your battle today may be your health, a family member’s health, a child’s addiction or incarceration, or you may be grieving the recent loss of a loved one, or watching a loved one fade away. Maybe your life is going well; you are young, beautiful or handsome, and healthy, and there’s no trouble in sight and your only battle is trying to fulfill your life's aspiration. Whatever your story, it’s not unique. As the Bible says, "...people are like the grass. Their beauty fades as quickly as the flowers in a field." Therefore, let us all think on the following words of advice this week:

Stand firm…, be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sister all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are…. So after you have suffered a little while, [God] will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.[2]

[1] Job 14:1-2 (NLT)
[2] 1 Peter 5:9-10 (NLT)

Motherless in Niagara

I assume other motherless people have asked themselves: How do I celebrate Mother's Day when my mother is deceased? Since my mother's death in 1988--on my 30th birthday--Mother's Day has actually been 'My Children's Mother's Day' and 'Mother-in-law's Day.' Of course I have enjoyed honoring the mother of my children, as well as my mother-in-law. My wife is a wonderful mother who was taught by one of the best. However, I have missed being able to celebrate my mother on Mother's Day. Many years ago, if your mother was deceased, on Mother's Day you would wear to church a white corsage on your lapel or a red or pink corsage if your mother was still living. That tradition has seemingly gone away with black and white televisions and 8-track tape players.

Today I have a much greater appreciation for my mother. Each year her wisdom becomes more and more apparent; she is probably one of the wisest individuals I have known. Therefore as the years have passed I have felt a greater need to celebrate my mother on Mother's Day. This weekend my wife and I went to Niagara Falls after attending a conference in Toronto. Since my wife and I were alone on Mother's Day the day felt less like 'My Children's Mother's Day' or 'Mother-in-law Day.' For the first time in 21 years I felt like I celebrated my mother on Mother's Day. Just in case you are wondering; no, I did not buy a Mother's Day card for my deceased mother. Given the variety of cards now available, I'm surprised that card companies haven't thought of 'Mother's Day' cards for us motherless people. I guess that would be a card that none of us would be too anxious to hand deliver.

Niagara Falls has special memories for me. My wife and I spent time this weekend remembering our family vacation in Niagara Falls; which was nearly eighteen years ago. Niagara Falls is also where my mother and father spent their honeymoon. Looking at the same magnificent waterfalls and floral clock that they posed at in their honeymoon pictures was like stepping back into time. Being in Niagara Falls also brought back fond memories of the vacations I took with my parents as a child in Niagara Falls. The highlight of this Mother's Day was finding the Michael's Inn, which is the hotel my family stayed at more than forty years ago. It is as if the city has left standing a monument honoring my mother by not demolishing the old inn to erect another posh high-rise hotel. Maybe one day I can return to Niagara Falls for Father's Day and honor my deceased dad. However, I must confess that I am writing this blog from the 18th floor of one of those posh high-rise hotels overlooking the Horseshoe Falls. I'm nostalgic, but I'm not nostalgic enough to stay at the Michael's Inn; it's actually too far from the falls and it looks exactly like it did forty years ago.

How did you celebrate this Mother's Day? Was it just another day? For those who have recently lost their mother, Mother's Day can be a very unhappy day. Remember, you are not alone; there are other people like us who have to celebrate a motherless day on Mother's Day. If your mother is deceased, have you found a way of honoring her in a special way on Mother's Day? Even if she's not deceased but you have found a unique way to honor your mother, share it with us.

Jesus demonstrated for us the importance of honoring our mothers. While dying on the cross for the sins of the entire world, he took time to acknowledge and honor his mother.

When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, "Dear woman, here is your son." And he said to this disciple, "Here is your mother." And from then on this disciple took her into his home."[1]

[1] John 19:26-27 (NLT)

Pigs Led to the Slaughter

Egypt began slaughtering its 300,000-350,000 pigs last Wednesday as a precaution against swine flu even though no cases have been reported there. Health Minister Hatem el-Gabaly told reporters, "It has been decided to immediately start slaughtering all the pigs in Egypt using the full capacity of the country's slaughterhouses." Most in the Muslim world consider pigs unclean animals and do not eat pork because of religious restrictions. One Islamic militant Web site carried comments last Wednesday saying swine flu was God's revenge against "infidels."

Pigs are banned entirely in some Muslim countries including Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar, the United Arab Emirates and Libya. However in other parts of the Muslim world, they are often raised by religious minorities who can eat pork. In Egypt, pigs are raised and consumed primarily by the Christian minority, which some estimates put at 10 percent of the population. "We are uneducated people, just living day by day and trying to make a living, and now if our pigs are taken from us without compensation, how are we supposed to live?" said Gergis Faris, a 46-year-old pig farmer in Cairo who collects garbage to feed his animals.

At some point we have all felt like innocent sheep or pigs being led to the slaughter. However, these days this perception has reached epidemic proportions; and for good reason. Many are unemployed and suffering financially today because of a recession largely due to the excesses, mismanagement, and recklessness of others. Retired individuals and those nearing retirement have seen their nest egg disappear overnight as a result a weak economy and a bear market. Responsible homeowners with conventional mortgages have watched their home values plummet due to the collapse of the subprime lending market. Credit cardholders have found themselves exploited through excessive fees and exorbitant interest rates charged by the very banks being bailed out with taxpayers' money. Healthy growing congregations have been forced to delay building projects due to tightened lending practices resulting from the banking crises and the unprecedented number of mortgages going into default by irresponsible ministries.

Has life recently led you into a difficult place where it seems unlikely that you will emerge in one piece or even alive? Remember that situations of impending trouble, calamity, persecution, hunger, destitution, danger, and threatened death do not mean that God does not love us. Nothing can separate us from the love of God.[1] No matter how unfair your predicament might be, God has not forsaken you. As the Lord's sheep, we might find ourselves time after time being led into life's slaughterhouses, but we have a promise that we will always emerge as victors and not victims.[2]

This week if you find yourself being led into a slaughterhouse at work, or at home, or at church, or at school, or by a friend or foe, or by some other uncontrollable situation, expect to see some of those goat and pig like characteristics in your nature slaughtered and some sheep-like (Christ-like) qualities emerging.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.[3]

[1] Romans 8:38
[2] Romans 8:36, 37
[3] Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)