"But why should we... treat our sister like a prostitute?"

Last week as many as a dozen young people watched a 15-year-old girl get beaten and gang-raped outside Richmond High School in California at a homecoming dance without reporting it. According to school counselors, the 15-year-old victim was a vulnerable girl who attended church and was feared to be trying too hard to please the school's bad boys. Police sources said that some of the bystanders laughed as the attack unfolded while others took photos with their cell phones.

"She was raped, beaten, robbed and dehumanized by several suspects who were obviously OK enough with it to behave that way in each other's presence," Lt. Mark Gagan said. "What makes it even more disturbing is the presence of others. People came by, saw what was happening and failed to report it."

Our culture's deification of sex and popular music's denigration of women have helped set the stage for this kind of tragic event. What is even more disheartening is that we've become desensitized to the molestation and murder of women in our culture. Weekly our female coworkers are being found in the walls of our college campuses, our female friends are being found in suitcases, and our female neighbors are being found discarded in our local wooded areas.

I'm certain the 15-year-old girl's family will sue the authorities for a considerable sum of money. There has even been a fund established for donations to the Richmond High School rape victim: Richmond High Jane Doe, account No. 041-30-1188, Mechanics Bank, 3170 Hilltop Mall Road, Richmond, CA 94806. However, such efforts are inadequate. When Jacob's sons discovered that their sister Dinah had been raped and her rapist and his family offered payment, they responded by saying, "But why should we let him treat our sister like a prostitute?" and they avenged the rape of their sister.[1] After the rape of David's daughter Tamar by her half-brother Amnon, her brother Absalom took out a contract on her rapist.[2]

All week I have been incensed by the report of this rape. Yet, in spite of the fact that rape was often avenged with death in the Bible, revenge is also an inadequate response to such violence. The Apostle Paul wrote: "Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God."[3]

I believe Absalom and Jacob's sons do offer us insight into turning the tide on violence against women. The first step in changing our society's treatment of women, especially young women, is seeing each and every woman as our sister. During the height of the black consciousness movement African Americans began referring to black women as their sister and black males as their brother. During that window of time we offered our society a powerful new approach to viewing others in society. Seeing others, even strangers, as our brothers and sisters meant we were family. Seeing others as our brothers and sisters meant we were to desire good for them and never harm. Unfortunately, today our sisters have become our "w's" and "b's" and our brothers have become our "dogs" and "N's."

In many churches, especially Pentecostal congregations, the women are still called sister followed by their first name and the men are referred to as brother followed by their first name. In some congregations everyone is referred to in this manner, including the children, ministers, and pastor. Even husbands and wives call each other brother and sister in a few congregations.

Howard County Maryland has the Choose Civility project which is an ongoing community-wide initiative to enhance respect, empathy, consideration and tolerance in Howard County. Since language does precede thought, this week I challenge you to consider calling the women around you 'sister' and the men 'brother,' especially the young brothers and sisters you encounter. Given that the young are the most impressionable and the most vulnerable in our society we might once again be able to offer our society a powerful and sustainable approach to respect, empathy, and civility. Will you accept the challenge to start doing something about violence against women? Remember that tomorrow's rape or murder victim could be your sister.


[1] Genesis 34:31 (NLT)
[2] 2 Samuel 13
[3] Romans 12:9 (NLT)